a perfect day.

they don't happen very often. today was one of them.

slept in till noon

peanut butter and honey sandwiches, peaches, nectarine, blackberries, oranges prepared and packed

hour drive through pure beauty, fields of corn out of louisville

hours in beautiful clifty falls state park, hiking, waterfalls, kissing bridges, toads, anne shirley moments, playground silliness.

carryout pizza for dinner from a great local place. spinach, mushrooms, tomatoes, garlic.

heavenly, heavenly day.

see for yourself what the woods were like. there were two along on this day, but you only see one for now ... :-)



yesterday was lovely, too. great live music by friends, and a wonderful session with my vegetarian club/book club friends. wonderful rice and bean dish, and vegan cookie, here. now i want to just cook and eat rice and beans this week. i might. fills you for hours with sustained energy.

friday night. more pizza, this time homemade with this amazing incredible cheese, and the movies for inception, popcorn, and vitamin water. i'm developing a bit of a vitamin water addiction. my favorites are the orange one and revive (the purple one).

i am calm again. i am centered and ready for a week of productivity, both in the classroom and on the moving front.

hope you all have a wonderful week.

topsy turvy, and the goal for strength, peace, balance.

things are going better around here. my sleeping schedule is still really off. but there are some good things keeping me sane, if not eternally busy.

i am busy moving to yet another apartment (my house sold) ... and working on phase two of my new classroom, having pretty much finished the big clean out/set up. the fact that both these things are happening concurrently is difficult.

i am turning to centering, grounding things: cleaning out TONS of clutter and furniture I don't need simply by selling it/giving to Goodwill (we're talking three huge boxes full of clothes, books, DVDs, random other assorted knick knack stuff I don't need, extra dishes, etc., TWO couches, a lamp with shelves, a nightstand, my TV set and DVD player, TV stand, two suitcases ... you get the idea. it's a LOT.)

i am moving into a much smaller apartment that will be temporary (8 months max) on my way to hopefully something much more permanent. it's very close to the park i love to walk in, though, and much closer to work. and i like that by its very nature it will make my life more simple. this is the most decluttering i've ever done, and i feel, for the first time in my life, finally able to LET GO of all the stuff. What's important, I have really just what I need and not much more: clothes, a bed, knitting and sewing supplies, yoga mat, books, my laptop, cooking necessities. It will be a true sanctuary that maybe I'll decorate throughout with plants, flowers, other things from nature.

I have turned to cooking, also to balance. Right now i'm in the process (despite the sweltering KY heat, but it is cooler nights) of cooking a homemade (crust and sauce) vegan pizza: vegan mozzarella, peppers, and onions.

I have gone to the yoga studio two nights in a row. It helps to even out the rollercoaster, surreal feelings that come with moving. among other things that are going on in my life right now. nothing to worry about, just ... stressful stuff.

I've knitted a gift for a friend, it just needs to be sewn up the seam and have a ribbon added. It's hard to knit right now ... I just don't feel like it in the summer. Hoping this may change as I look for restful activities.

A girl's night tomorrow, and hopefully lunch with another girlfriend on Thursday. really lacking in girl time right now. This will hopefully provide some balance, too.

Taking it easy, trying to roll with both the punches and the good times, sleep well, eat enough (haven't wanted to eat all summer, product of the heat), keep true to myself and not overextend. Each minute as it comes, mostly.

Trying to stick to a vegan diet (isn't hard for me at this point, yay!!). my body feels so clean and strong when I eat vegan. and i mean a whole-foods/unprocessed diet without refined grains, too. mainly i've been doing tons of all the beautiful local fruit and veg i find around here, some bok choy from california, tofu (i eat this like meat eaters are supposed to eat meat, as a side dish), quinoa, soy "chicken" nuggets, Amy's "burgers", soy or coconut yogurt, nuts, seeds, cutting down on all oils, and well ... that's about it. you know how cooking goes in summer, for the most part.

I do hope to get at least four or five complete "vacation" feeling days, though, in the month before school starts up again. You know ... reading, long walks, beer or dinner with friends. I want a real vacation. Maybe next year.

I froze some peppers from the farmer's market today. I'm wondering, between the strawberries I froze a couple months ago, and these, how i'm going to fit anything else in my freezer. i'll be happy come wintertime to have local produce on hand, though. i've achieved my small goal of trying to preserve stuff. it's not too hard. i'm determined to get some sundried tomatoes in jars, too. more on that, maybe when the moving dust settles.

My basil and chard have been faithful plants all summer, so I'll do those again next year, and more of each. I'd like to add herbs at some point, and maybe another vegetable.

Can't wait to read your beautiful blogs to feel some more peace. Headache ... maybe some legs up the wall before bed, too.

tomorrow, mid-week farmer's market. contemplating a peach-blackberry cobbler. or maybe ... more of what you see below :-)


peace,

k.

Simple woman's daybook.

Outside my window... life rolls on as usual under the beautiful, hot Kentucky sun.

I am thinking...that love is huge.

I am thankful for... my parents and wonderful grandparents

I am praying for.... R., C., V., L., Melissa's friend's nephew, all those in the world who are hungry and lonely, missing children, myself so I may have inner peace

From the kitchen... Red quinoa with tofu, black beans, tomatoes, carrot, squash mixed in vegenaise and lemon ruice. later, a vegan pizza with peppers and onions

I am wearing... white tank top and skirt with a blue flower pattern

I am creating...knitted gifts of love for friends having precious little ones

I am going... to the laundromat.

I am reading... The China Study. It cemented me on eating vegan for life.

I am hoping... that things will work themselves out despite being hard in the beginning.

I am hearing... the air conditioner and some beautiful African music i just had on.

Around the house... quiet, reflective silence

One of my favorite things... practicing asanas and pranayama, mindful breathing and silent meditation

A few plans for the week end...... yard sale, coffee with a friend, long walks, yoga time

Here is picture for thought I am sharing... a wide open expanse of beach, the waves crashing and rolling, crashing and rolling, no two oceans ever the same, in a forever flow of life, death, creation. there is true perfection in nature.

some reflection.

It's amazing how a few days in your life can become so very weighty in so short a span of time. Oh, everything is fine, but I've been privy to some things that are difficult to wrap my head around. I do accept them, but I'm feeling overwhelmed by their enormity and so I've needed to take a step back into myself. Sit, literally, in my bedroom chair for several hours straight. Cook.

I haven't slept for two nights straight, at all, which is not like me at all. I've never had a problem with sleep a day in my life. Catching some dozing hours in the early morning and getting nothing at all productive all the day long. My stress levels are high, some from sad things entrusted to my care, many others from good things not allowing my brain to rest for nigh a minute. I try to give my cares up to the universe and see what flows from all of it.

I am an introvert by nature though many who know me find this hard to believe, but I draw my best strength from being alone. It allows me the time to process the overload of sensory information.

I don't know why I am posting this here. This is my sort of happy-go-lucky space. But when we receive reminders of reality staring us in the face, are we to just pretend they don't exist? Of course not. I think of the yoga sutras: allow it in, acknowledge its presence, accept it...let it go. Or that saying, god grant me the serenity to accept the things that i cannot change, to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Horrible things have happened to several people i know, whether they are close to me, merely acquainted, or whether we don't know each other at all. I know this is a byproduct of all our lives at some point. I feel that I bear their burden especially weightily these last few days, and I have a couple of my own.

My life is in another transitional phase, and while it's largely so good, it's still a bit painful to move in a direction that's so different from the one I've gotten fairly used to. The unacknowledged fear, no doubt, is contributing to the strange way I feel. Fear of what's to come. I know what I need to do, I need to let it flow through me, and release it, and come into the calm aftermath of its presence.

There is someone new in my life who means a lot to me. Older friends are also taking on new importance. So many shifts, so many winds blowing this tree to and fro. it's just all a bit dizzying. my roots are strong, but it's hard to hold onto all my beautiful leaves and blossoms. it's hard to go where they go, to follow the changes to the new place where they'll land.

this is what happens when you go 24 hours without sleep, i guess. i will try to breathe. i will do more asana (tomorrow afternoon, in fact). i will sit in quiet meditation and observe all that comes up and breathe, accept, accept, let go. i know that love is what will remain. the divine is me, and i am divine, and to be divine is to be love. love is powerful and it lifts us up out of the uncertainty, it soothes fear like a mama's hand to her baby's head.

if you've read this far, thank you. it's an introspective day, a much-needed day to slow it all down, retreat from loved ones temporarily, and just listen to myself. i hope that by tomorrow morning i will have slept long and well and things will start to feel a little more real and a little less surreal.

peace.

high summer is nigh

i can't seem to find my uploader-cable, or else i'd have more recent "back home" pics to share with you ... soon, my friends, soon. in the meantime, don't you just love that entryway? that's the school where i did my montessori training at for the past three summers. it's so open and airy. lots of natural light. very montessori to the core!

today was one of those perfect summer days. hot but not too much humidity, not a cloud in the sky. did a 5-mile walk in the park, and came home to a huge bowl of local blackberries and blueberries and soy yogurt and flaxseeds. and soon, to a spot of knitting. this week, i intend to return to the park and lay for hours on a blanket with my new love, soaking up the warmth and smells and sounds of summer. ahhhhhh.

news on the apartment front. i know my last post was all about how i wanted to stay, but all along i had a feeling i'd be fooled into thinking that temporarily. sure enough, i feel i'm being forced out by the realtor. the serendipitious part to this, however, is that the last people to see the place are thinking of making an offer on it. this would be .... well, "whatever" business to me, but for two things: the guy's sister is one of my friends' best friends, and we got to talking while he was in there with his wife looking at my place: she owns a condo that she's wanting to rent, and it's right ON the park i just mentioned! and 10 minutes or so closer to my work. and it's cheaper than what i pay now. if her brother and his wife get the place, i'll have to move b/c they were talking about converting the whole place to a one-family dwelling so, things are as they are meant to be. i'll likely be moving sometime before the end of this summer, downsizing to a one-bedroom but the good news is a place to myself ... AND all three cats! there is a little patio for my cats, and i can control the heat in winter. all that's left is to see it ....

about my classroom. after a week straight of cleaning a mess so bad you couldn't see the floor, it's now almost ready for my first summer interview this coming friday. i couldn't be happier about the progress i'm making. now to just order materials through the office that i need, and make the ones i can't order. just a month until school begins again, i can't believe it! my own classroom!

hopefully a few entirely lazy days like today are in store before the routine creeps up on me again. or nights like last night: homemade cold vegan pesto pasta with local summer veg and a wonderful free performance of Shakespeare in the Park, Richard III style.

enjoy your week!

a positive feeling.

so ....

i've been thinking ....

that i love my apartment. i have been in love with it since the first time i laid eyes on it. yes, love at first sight.

if you've been following the blog, you'll know there have been some recent issues involving the apartment vs. new realtor vs. neighbors trying to sell that i reacted to quite strongly with, "well, i guess i have to move." but i really don't want that to be the case.

what i want is for the house to sell and fall into new (hopefully better) hands. that way, it won't need to be shown anymore and i can relax a bit more. at best, they won't hate my houseplants and leaving things out on the patio to dry in the sun (umm yeah, can you believe it?).

i've been casually looking at apartments, but not finding any in neighborhoods i want to be in. the ones i am finding are too expensive, or are less expensive but lacking some vital component.

so i have a plan ....

if my landlord will allow it, i'm going to take on a roommate for the second bedroom, thus cutting my rent in half. if that doesn't work, i'm going to spend a little money (money i would have paid movers) and get it turned into a permanent guest room that can be for rent as a sublet, meaning i can take on renters at whim. this is even more money than i would save by just downsizing to a smaller apartment.

i also have plans to get rid of even more STUFF (i love that sparse, zen-look to a space) and tweak my living and dining rooms to give me a crafting space, maybe a yoga space. i don't know. it's just thoughts at this point.

but i'm excited. saving more money will mean more money to spend on improvements to make the space great (and keep landlords happy).

it will also mean i can keep all 3 of my lovely cats. it's a tough, tough world out there for renters with cats.

perhaps in three years i will have enough money to buy and won't need to worry about the cats finding a home, too...or worse, giving them up to other homes.

i am excited about investing the time to make the place even more amazing than it is now.

i hope this plan will be successful.

in other news ...

this is my first full day back in Louisville, and it's been great. Lots of simply lounging about, and a great little block party on my walking court with live music. some knitting, some blog reading, some book reading, some unpacking. and planning, always planning ;-)

my friend who has a garden plot (not sure if i ever mentioned it)to share is ready for me to get my hands in the dirt! i'm excited because this is VERY close to my apartment and i don't have the space to garden here (save for my rogue basil and swiss chard plants, tee hee hee).

i'm dating a new guy who made me homemade carrot soup last night that tasted like it came from a restaurant. boy, is he awesome. am i a lucky girl or what?

i'll be back in the yoga studio and the classroom this week. two intense passions of mine. i can't wait.

happy 4th to you! i'll be eating grilled veggie burgers and watching fireworks.

news flash

I had my oral exam this morning, and passed! I am officially an AMI-certified Montessori teacher, for life!

I cannot express in words the joy the end of this three-year journey brings me. But it's actually not an end ... it's a point of departure, a beginning!

five days of rest, and then it's back to the painstaking work of getting a new classroom ready by aug. 16, when the first wonderful children arrive! i won't even get into all that that entails ... so i hope i can stay focused and get a whole bunch of beautiful materials made! i know i won't have a complete set of everything from my albums this first year, but plan to by the end of next summer. so this year, i'll do what i can and set a goal of making something at least weekly. montessori classroom prep is like an ongoing scavenger hunt ... in fact i have found some great items at goodwill/antique shops while here in st. louis! sooooo much fun!! (also so much $$ ....oy)

in other news ... well, there's not much. i've drawn up a preliminary personal budget for next year that i think is going to help tremendously ... i do this every year, but have trouble sticking to it. but if you've kept up with my blog, you'll know i'm just about ready to cross the line from intention (which took me two years to somewhat define, and build up through more simple living steps) to action. if all goes well, i can save a good wad of cash in various expenditure accounts (more later, maybe) and pay off my grad student loan debt in five years instead of ten! we shall see! i think all this home and garden tv i've been watching in my spare time has been inspiring. tv is not always the devil ... heehee ... but i'm still considering selling my set, among other things.

yes, still hoping to move by september or october and start paying a couple hundred dollars a month less in rent. i'm not sure yet on the fate of two of my three cats. it's a double-edged sword.

ah, five days of rest ... i need it. and a holiday weekend, to boot! cool!

much love,

karen

just a quick post.

just wanted to call your attention to this great new blog.

back to the books.

oh yeah, i'm thinking about a one-bedroom apartment now. simple, but creatively beautiful. if the rent is right, why have a second bed for taking in renters? and i don't have guests often enough. i can improvise a sewing area. maybe the place will have a little nook area. .....

nothing i can do about it for a few more weeks. sigh..i'm impatient!

happy wednesday night to you.

weekly update

farmer's market hydrangeas

I have passed both my written exams! All that remains is a very important oral exam next Tuesday, which I am practicing/studying for now. Halfway there feels pretty good!

This post will be short. I went to the St. Louis zoo today, and just 2 hours in the 105-degree-humid heat was enough to give me a nasty headache (dehydration probably) and tucker me out quite a bit.


I only have 11 days left until graduation, and then the next couple of months will be a flurry of classroom preparation, and possibly a move to a new apartment, provided i find one that i like.

It's a busy time around here. I do try and take a long walk nearly every day, through this quiet suburban neighborhood near my apartment. i don't understand the front lawns. these huge, manicured front lawns that no one actually uses. i could never live in the suburbs. so antiseptic. i just don't understand them. reflecting, i realize this is why i want to leave the current block i'm living on back home in louisville. they got upset with my compost bin. no one line dries or has a garden. it makes me want to cry, is that weird? i get sad thinking about how much better it was when people seemed to live within their means more and do things for themselves.

i've been eating vegan since i got here, with one exception, a pizza out at a restaurant. i've already lost weight so that's nice. of course, we eat less in summer, too. i'd like to lose 15 more pounds but i'm not sure how that's going to happen unless i eat less ... and when i eat i have a huge appetite! at least most of it is healthy!


recent meals here in st. louis.
i am still thinking about establishing a daily yoga/meditative practice. i don't know why it's so hard for me to carve out this space in my day. but i always say that intention means you're halfway there. still, looking forward to getting back to the studio regularly in july and august.

i'm sorry but there's not much else to say ... well there is one thing, but i want to wait a bit on it to see if it actually develops the way i'm hoping it will ;-)

guess i'm just tired. hope you all have a good week! i'll be in the practice room for most of it.



vegan dinner, tonight after the zoo

peace.

simplifying.

as you can see, i've decided to simplify my blog a bit. i'm actually still trying to simplify my life. i feel a great call to do this...and recent circumstances in my life that i first saw as negative have actually been an invitation to action to me.

don't get me wrong, overall everything is fine. i'm still in st. louis, and just finished up my written exams. in three weeks, i'll have taken oral exams, and will hopefully be a certified montessori teacher!

but when i get home, i'm going to attempt to move to a smaller place, possibly even with a good friend of mine. i'm looking for cheaper rent, and you know when you move....you always get rid of the STUFF that follows you. i can get rid of even more STUFF. definitely. i'm looking for a more down-to-earth neighborhood. i'll either have one bedroom or two (hopefully two even if they're small, so i can set up my own craft area). i want a space to experiment with gardening.

that's all, really. it's a good opportunity for me to do this. i'm tempted also to not even bother selling some of the more higher-quality stuff i have, like pretty winter coats i never wear, or dvd's. thinking of freecycling them, giving out the good karma. i've begun thinking it's nuts to collect dvd's. mine literally sit there for months, and just collect dust. i mean, they're all my favorite movies, but i NEVER watch them. what's the point? i thought of this yesterday when i passed some movies i'd "love to have on dvd" in the store ... and immediately forgot the "need" to have them once i'd walked past. hm.

i will not compromise on my books. never. :-) and of these, you can imagine how many i have ...

i just don't want nearly so much STUFF.

i'm also, sadly, thinking of giving two of my three cats to good homes. it's nearly impossible to keep up with all the maintenance their destructive natures (including having accidents everywhere/puking hairballs). but if it doesn't make me sound too bad, i'm really looking forward to having just my original cat with me again (i'm sure she is, too!). i love them...but don't cats adapt well no matter who they're with? i'm not sure. i could use some soothing words on this one.

simplification feels like a cleansing in a pure stream.

moving is not simple, but neither is setting up a classroom from scratch, so why not get both over with at the same time?

i hope this will be a place i can stay for the next (at least) three years i'll be in louisville.

i've loved my amazing dream of an apartment but for various reasons i won't get into here, it's time to move on.

a little wistful, but my calling is strong. simplify, it says. keep only what's important. save on rent. maybe enjoy the constant company of a friend. have a space for a tiny garden and a tiny place to air dry your clothes. revel in the "not needing." remember how lucky you are. you have food and water. you have clothes to wear, and a place to sleep, a roof over your head. you are healthy. you are free.

there are millions -- MILLIONS -- of people in the world who do not have these rights.

I'd also like to set up a dedicated space for daily yoga and meditation in my new place. That call is also strong.

I might even sell my TV altogether. I wonder if I can live without rented movies in the winter.

just some thoughts as I sit here during a cleansing thunderstorm in my pretty, spartan room in st. louis that has everything i need, and no more.



enjoy your weekend with all the rich blessings that simplicity has bestowed upon you.