Sunday, July 3, 2016

Happy Summer Tidings!

My goodness,

I have intended to come here so many times over the last 5 months. Finally, on a quiet summer night backdropped by crickets and fireworks, I feel truly ready to update, although to be honest I haven't uploaded photos in ages, though there are many, so those may have to wait.

I was reading back through my posts over the last two years, and realizing how much has changed, how much I have changed, since then. I miss many parts of that old me, but I like the "ancient stone' I feel has been etched into me since becoming a mother.

We are well. George is now 15 months old, and literally a finger away from walking on his own. He drinks from a cup, feeds himself, is learning how to use a crayon, chatters incessantly and adorably, has a mouthful of teeth, weighs 22 lbs. and is 30 inches tall. He is the best thing that has ever happened to us. He also has not had a seizure in nearly a YEAR and we are hopefully on the last month of medication. We are very, very blessed. Sometimes I marvel at how I grew him and yet ... he is so very much his own person. It's a complete miracle, this boy. He is starting school in October. He will be a Montessori child! I can't wait to buy his little L.L. Bean lunch box. I also want him to stay a baby forever. He is just-weaned (his lead). So that was HARD for a few days as my hormones went absolutely wacko, combined with PMS and awful work-related stress. But now, summer vacation has finally started and four days in I'm slowly beginning to feel better.

Overall, I feel as though I'm finally coming out of this strange fog that's enveloped me since G. was born. The first two months of bliss, the next six weeks of hell (seizures), the next months of intense PTSD and anxiety that robbed my sleep literally every single night upon night upon night upon night. I am still struggling with a LOT of anxiety and night is still the worst, although I have been sleeping much better for a couple months. After he'd been seizure-free a few months, which were the first few months I started a new job and called home about three times a day to check on him, I began to see that he was growing rapidly, so many milestones one after the other. I began to feel the true weight of raising a child. The exhaustion, the times when you feel as though you're not going to make it, because it's just too all-consuming and too damned hard. The guilt for feeling that way. Basically, every waking moment not consumed with work, consumed with a child needing constant care and attention -- take it up a few notches when you're doing it "Montessori" and everything is about completely conscious parenting (no screens or cell phone breaks).

Now, as he is on the verge of literally taking his first steps away, and is done breastfeeding, I feel as though oh yeah here I am again. I am retraining my brain to think of myself as a separate entity again. I am fighting off the last of this insane anxiety that makes me think constantly of horrible things that could happen to me to take me away from G., my constant fear that something is wrong with my health, my constant fear that something bad will happen at school. I haven't had anxiety this bad in years. I'm sure I've still got that PTSD kicking around, and we are so ironically isolated in this overpopulated, over-yuppied area where we stick out like sore thumbs, and I haven't truly exercised in about exactly a year, and I haven't done yoga regularly for five years-ish. So. Getting back to being active is a huge priority of mine going into the summer. I'm also doing a second Whole 30 later this month (did one in spring, didn't lose weight, probably due to low exercise). It's VERY hard with a toddler and a working-during-summer husband and no child care options (no $!). My plan is to find many great parks with walking trails and hoof it with G. in the carrier! And do this nearly every day! :-)

I am really okay aside from the anxiety. It just makes you feel, at a young 36, as though you are an old, world-weary lady on her last legs. In your head, not physically. It makes you scared as hell. It makes you terrified of every weird, yet innocuous, feeling your body gives you. It is hard to live outside your own head. I know getting back to yoga would help, too. So .... it's a slow climb back to the light and the living, if that makes sense. Funny, I hear a lot of moms talk about this 15-month mark as a milestone, a turning point.

I never did tell you much about my job, did I? Well ... it's full-time teaching at a local Montessori school, where George will also attend this fall. It's so much better than the last situation I was in pre-George. But, and this has nothing to do with the school itself, I am getting TIRED of the b.s. that exists in the entire teaching field. Mainly related to additional work expected, parent-pleasing crap, lack of money for materials, and not enough pay to meet living standards/work expectations. It's STRESSFUL and takes up a ton of time. I also LOVE the actual work I do with children. So, for now, I stay in. But my radar is open to just about anything. In fact, I'm in the process of training to be a Tinkergarten leader on the side (lead classes for children in local parks). I'm still figuring out yet another $$ avenue. We know we can't stay in northern VA indefinitely.

A month ago, we went up to CT for one of my best friend's weddings. It was a great visit, but always makes me wish we both lived closer to friends and family. So, when we reevaluate within the next year or five .... we will consider this heavily. We need jobs, but our money needs to work better for us so we can become homeowners and give G. the stability of environment he will ultimately need as he grows up.

In a couple weeks, we will travel back to the Eastern Shore for a few days to stay in a beautiful, remote home. Have ice cream, eat at our favorite Mexican place, maybe drive past our old, beautiful, home on the wharf, wade into the Chesapeake Bay. It will be perfect. I have a few knitting projects and a stack of books I want to read. I am still battling an evening screen addiction (Kindle), other than that I still don't have a TV (no TV since 2009!), and definitely no "smart" phone (though I may be forced to when that's all there is, huh? sure hope the plans go less than $100/month, and it will definitely stay OFF in my purse 90 percent of the time).

Food, food yes, trying to stay Paleo-ish except when out, but I always feel crap after gluten and now it's summer and I'm drinking beers sometimes and that's gluten too whoops. If the next round of Whole 30 PLUS exercise doesn't take I've decided to go back to being gluten- and sugar-free vegetarian, PLUS exercise.

We have new neighbors who have a sweet son 10 months older than G. We are hoping to do babysitting trades with them for date nights. This is wonderful, we need to focus on our marriage as it took an understandable backburner to George for a LONG time. We are also using part of our tax refund to finally buy a bed (I wake up sore from the IKEA futon every morning). Good beds help make good marriages! :-)

This is such a massive update. If you've made it all the way to here, thank you. I have been all take and no give here lately, reading others' blogs with abandon for hope and inspiration, and the will to keep going towards a better place. Having just written out all of the above words, I feel all of those things. I hope to feel lighter, and more like my young age over the next few weeks.

Stay tuned for pics :-)

Love and light,


Monday, January 25, 2016

Happy New Year!

Well ... HELLO!!!

Wow, four and a half months or so since my last blog entry. All is well here ... and I suppose I should have read it over first to update it. But I'm so anxious to post new stuff here, so that's where I'll begin!

I'm actually writing this on my fifth day off due to this massive blizzard that hit the DC area this past weekend. Which is wonderful! We have plenty of groceries and thankfully never lost power. There's just ... too much snow to even get out of the parking lot! So I've done plenty of the things I never get to do ... knitting, reading, watching Netflix.

Life is so busy with a baby. But can you believe, it's been nearly a year already? In just a few more days, George will be 10 and a half months old! He is wanting to stand all the time (hasn't found his balance yet!). He has also figured out how to get up on all fours (think :: plank position), and how to curl one leg under him when getting down or trying to get up. Lots of physical development taking place! He is finally on the charts for weight, he's still a short guy though (26 percent versus 2 percent, lol). He loves to eat just about everything. He dislikes pineapple, salmon, and quinoa though. His diet is 100 percent whole foods. He's eating five times a day and nursing three times a day. When I'm at work he is down to one bottle of formula, but we're going to start using a Cuppow cup -- basically a glass mason jar with silicone rubber around the outside and as a cover -- with a slot at the top. I don't believe in "sippy" cups. He should learn how to drink in a dignified manner like the rest of us. It's what he deserves! He sits on the baby toilet and has gone number 1 in it several times since Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, he had a great first Christmas. Traveled in the car like a dream. The weather was incredibly mild, so we didn't run into any trouble. He finally got to meet some of John's friends, and others from mine and John's families. I can't believe it, but we are already filling out his application for school in September (he'll be attending mine, it's opening a toddler classroom sometime this year).

hangin with grandpa at great grandma's

first Christmas, in Connecticut

here is George's new toy shelf (a Tv shelf from Ikea). He's not really choosing from it yet, but I am making sure to display taking one of the things out a time, working with it, then putting it away when done. Oh, we have since replaced the frame on the left with a john james audobon robin print, lol! that was just how the frame came from the craft store.

My work is going well, though I'm currently seeking another "on the side" opportunity to make some more money as it's very hard to live here on the two teacher salaries we make. I'm considering DoTerra Oils or LuLaRoe. The initial LuLaRoe investment is really large, so maybe I'll begin with the oils. I don't really know. I hate having to spend money to get money, maybe. But these are flexible opportunities as far as time commitment. At this point, I'm really looking forward to about 8 weeks off in the summer. We are planning a trip to Cape Charles,Va. where we used to live. 

The other day, I was thinking about some of my goals for the upcoming year. Here are some of the things on the list ::

Hikes, spring and summer

read 15 min daily

tidy 15 min daily

send 1 postcard/month to my best friend in Oregon

learn to sew

enter a shawl in a state fair

start an Etsy shop or web site

explore creative pursuits I have passion for

very much simplify and reduce the grocery budget

I have been very disheartened to see that nearly all the bloggers who I link to in my sidebar are deciding, for one reason or another, to not blog anymore. I'm starting to think Instagram is the death of bloggers. But if I'm not mistaken, you can only use Instagram from a "smart" (I hate that we call devices smart) phone, and I don't have a smart phone. I really miss Meg (she does an Instagram blog now), Leya, Erin, Libby, Kristina, and soon possibly Ash Grove Mama and Rhonda. I'm so glad to still have the Soules, Ginny, Heather, Bonnie, Frugal Trenches. I'm very open to new blog links, so send them my way, please!

I am going to try to blog more, it's just man the first year of baby is wild! All-consuming, and in the very best of ways. We are all well here. Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you again soon!

Love and light,


Sunday, September 6, 2015


george in his first overalls, with daddy 
Wow, I've been absent far too long! I wonder if anyone reads my blog anymore.

Life with a baby, just ... man you squeeze stuff in when you can (usually during naps). Since I've been working at my new job for four weeks now, that mainly involves feedings, naps, dinner and lunch prep, housework, pumping for the next day's bottles (grandma watches G. during the day), and sometimes knitting and watching either knitting podcasts or Friday Night Lights on Netflix.

sleigh bells of excellent quality from West Music

As we move into September ... my favorite month ....

the crockpot is becoming our best friend again. there is a lasagna sauce simmering in there now.

George turns 6 months old in 10 days! I can't believe it. He is now starting to reach for things, and
"swim" crawling (moving in place like a swimmer). He laughs a lot. He rolls over. I think he's teething sometimes but nothing's poking up yet. He sleeps like a champ, usually waking only once per night, and he takes very long naps. He has used the baby swing on the playground in our development and gone "swimming" with mama in the wading pool. He has begun eating "tastes" of pastured egg yolk and organic apple and organic white grape juice on a salt spoon. Yesterday I bought him a Baby Bjorn toilet (I refuse to use the p___y word, blech) that we will soon start just sitting his naked bottom on every day to get him in the habit. And we are just about ready to break him into both his weaning table (organic rice cereal is ready to go!) and his Tripp Trapp chair (a chair that allows more independent mobility than a traditional high chair). He likes to sometimes "help" with the spoon going in his mouth. It's all happening so fast!

I am working on a shawl and a very overdue baby sweater here and there as time allows. I think in lieu of Christmas gifts that are knitted (save for a couple hats and some dishcloths), I am going to knit FOUR additional baby items for other on-the-way babies in my world. Another year of the baby!! In a couple weeks I will visit the Shenandoah Valley Fiber Festival I liked so much last year. I can't wait.

I am on book 6 of the Anne of Green Gables series. Loving it so much. Three more "Anne" books to go! All done while nursing.

We are planning on going to pick a pumpkin with George but that might not be till next month.

That's about all I just wanted to check in. I've missed things here so much!!

enjoy the cooler weather as it comes in!

love and light,

k. xx

Monday, July 13, 2015

mid-summer day'sblog

Is it really midsummer already?!

Is my son really FOUR months old?? Seriously .... where does time go? :-)

I am actually typing this at my upstairs desk, the one I haven't used in months b/c this has been a combo adult/baby bedroom. Not so anymore! G. is outgrowing the bassinet so today for the first time I placed him on his "big boy bed" (floor mattress, toddler size) in the nursery. Swaddled and snoozing away. That boy ... so adaptable. And soon, I will have my room back! I will be sad to see the bassinet days go however. Now I have to worry about him rolling off the bed, though it is very safe (we have a Montessori-style nursery, no crib) and we can always roll towels up under the mattress later. Just another transition. Our family seems to "love" transition times ... big eye roll!

Tomorrow I will find out whether I have a new job. I am very excited but it is a new role other than "teacher" so I'm excited, but cautiously so. Still working at a Montessori school, of course. I would start full-time at the end of August, and just work a few days prior to that. I have so many emotions about leaving G. home with Grandma after flying solo with him for five months (It will pretty much be six months by the time I'm back full-time; and I do realize how lucky I am compared to most working women). I know he will do fine. And, of course, the plan is to have him coming to work with me every day in the fall of 2016 as he would be in the toddler program! Next best thing to homeschooling :-)

I have finally picked up the knitting needles again, stolen moments during naps and after G. goes to sleep. I am currently working on a hat, a baby sweater, a burp cloth (for that Etsy shop I was going to have sooo much time to knit for, ha!), a baby blanket. When these projects are wrapping up I'm going to start work on a shawl, possibly to enter in a fall fair back in New England just for fun. I would also love to make another Milo for George for the winter. I really loved his first Milo, which does still fit as he's a slow grower.

 I'm also trying to swim twice a week after G. is in bed. It winds up being a very late swim, 9-9:30 pm, but that's the time we have to work with right now (and the time there aren't swim teams using the facility) so it's better than nothing.

My nursing book is currently The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman. Wonderful story! Next up I plan on reading the entire Anne of Green Gables series for the first time. I've only ever read the first book.

It's been a really rainy summer here. I've actually enjoyed being able to take G. on 20-30 minute stroller walks outside under an overcast sky and we can both breathe easy.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit restless. I sort of wish it was a "normal" summer of picnics, traveling, etc. but it's not life with a baby under one year, esp. one with a medical condition we are still learning to manage effectively with medication. Basically he needs very regular sleep. So my days feel chopped into chunks at home between naps and nursing. The nursing has tapered to every three (sometimes four) hours though so that's been a bit of a break. We do go on short adventures with daddy on weekends, out to breakfast or Target or the farmer's market. I keep telling myself soon enough he'll be doing regular stuff with us! We can't wait to take him to the art museum in DC when he's a bit older.

Because I've missed yoga in my life the last few years, I've been looking for ways to start up my practice again given that time is more precious. I can't remember where this first cropped up, but I'm currently "taking" a two-week free mindfulness yoga class online through Hunter Yoga. I'm hoping also to try out a new studio on a weekend sometime s win the neighborhood my new school would be a in, a neighborhood we'd really like to move to at some point as it's walkable and seems so friendly and UN-suburban. People are too isolate from the neighbors where we are now. Though to that end I did at least join a parents Facebook group for our townhouse development, as well as a "Creative chicks with Babes" Meetup. Baby steps ... literally!

I am back to menu planning and meals are very easy to put together as it's summer. Soon George will be eating a few fruits and veggies, too. We set up his Montessori weaning table and chair and I will need to go shop for glass bowls, tiny silver spoons, placemats, some artwork, a small plant, a protective floor mat. He can't sit up on his own yet so I suspect it will be closer to six months that we start on solids.

Gains he has made include rolling onto his belly to indicate he's done with naps, reaching for and grasping his wood ring and his bell on the play gym, crazy loud squealing for several-minute stretches. He's the best, that boy.

I will post pics as I am able.

Love and light,


Monday, June 22, 2015

early summer update

wow, another long time since i last blogged. sorry to be so slow about things. but i do have a 3 and a 1/2 month old (!!!) at home taking up most of my time and attention (rightfully so!!) ....

things are going well as we are already 1/3 of the way into summer .... how did THAT happen btw? seems last time i blinked it was may. we actually had a recent medical scare with George. He is going to be fine but we lost ourselves for a while in the hospital, and tunnel-visioned into fear to the exclusion of all else, including many days of not sleeping. I won't tell you how scary that feels! But seriously. His condition is manageable and, while scary, nothing that will do permanent damage. There is a high likelihood too, that he will outgrow it. So we have him on medicine and are doing frequent doctor follow-ups and hoping for the best outcome possible.

The situation was good in that it helped me to refocus on the truly important, and to learn how to celebrate when 1 or 2 items get crossed off on one day. It's literally all you can do with an infant (not a newborn, an infant!! wow!!) and that's OKAY. I am so looking forward to seeing the world for many more years to come through a child's eyes and at a child's pace. Becoming a parent is life-altering in a way you couldn't even imagine before. Those of you who are parents have felt this chasm opening between your now and the past. It's amazing and truly life-altering.

Becoming a parent is a lot of learning how to LET GO. Life just isn't the same, I think I spent the first 3 months trying to live an altered version of my old life. Um, no. No more old life. And slowly we figure out how to fit ourselves in. An hour at the pool. A 2-hour date while G. stays with Grandma. Knitting three rows while G. naps. Reading like crazy while nursing. A solo walk after G. goes to bed and daddy stays in. Easy to put together at 8 pm meals.

I am still job hunting. There is an incredible prospect coming up this week. Fingers crossed. It would be a school for G. and me!! AMI. I am not going back to the hunt until this meeting is over with. I think this is the ONE.

Gardening ... not happening again this summer. Maybe next. Will be more fun with a toddler anyway, right? Many reasons for this, again having. a. baby. being number one.

Hope your summer is going so well. I feel like I'm going to blink and it will be September, which actually I'm really looking forward to because our landlord just installed new windows through our whole townhouse. Boy do I love fresh air.

It's 10 p.m. time to check on my sleeping sack of love.

Be well.

Love and light,


Tuesday, May 5, 2015

It's May!

Hello, there!
We have been enjoying a glorious spring, in addition (as you can see) to some much-needed spring cleaning/decluttering. I needed to "open up" my small townhouse spaces and I am now happy with the result. Bloom where you are planted and all (it's no secret I'm not a huge fan of the suburbs where we currently live...and especially not that carpet). I would LOVE to be growing stuff on our back patio this year but too many life changes ... again. Sigh. Some day ....
But I've been giving myself up to the things I CAN do that matter. George, who is seven weeks and sleeping like a champ through the night :-) :-) :-) ... knitting as I'm able ... cooking (enjoying Heather's online whole foods kitchen workshop currently) ... reading books while I'm nursing. I have been going on job interviews at various Montessori schools in the area and I'm hoping to be able to make a decision this month. I'm trying to get some summer babysitting, knit for my eventual Etsy shop, and I'm exploring becoming a wellness advocate for doTerra essential oils for some side cash. Researching yarn dyeing and making beeswax candles are future projects right now. Newborns are quite labor intensive! ;-)
Also in the pictures above, you see we found a pretty new park to walk in. I'm trying to walk nearly every day, luckily even when I just stick to my immediate neighborhood there are some good hilly spots and flights of stairs to really get my heart rate up. I've also switched over to "clean" eating. basically this looks like non-gluten grains (aside from multigrain sourdough), pastured/grassfed meat and eggs, organic plain yogurt, fruits/veggies/nuts/seeds and a tiny bit of soy (mainly tofu). NO refined sugar (I'm allowing maple syrup and honey as needed, in minute amounts). It feels GOOD. Also to drink at least 64oz. of filtered water every day.
John is enjoying his new job at the Smithsonian and we are going to visit daddy for lunch one day soon.
The Maryland Sheep and Wool festival last weekend was fun; I took George. I bought 4 skeins of gorgeous yarn and ate lamb kabobs and popcorn as they are paleo-ish friendly.
Hope this finds you well.

Monday, April 13, 2015

all photo credit goes to the lovely talented Anna of Anna Carson Dewitt photography. Patronize her! Her work is lovely.
we are still getting adjusted to life with baby. it's very different, and very challenging, but also very wonderful. mama is learning how to slow down, and how to be patient with the fact that one "little" outing can take ALL. DAY. ;-) we each try to take about an hour of "me" time per day. I either run out to target or trader joe's, Starbucks or Dunkin' for a small pleasure, or I watch part of an episode of Call the Midwife, or get some thank you cards written. I also have baked some yummy brownies (I think from the Cake and Cookie website?) and Molly Wizenberg's adapted raspberry-ricotta cake as beginning May 1 I'm going to try and eat "clean" again for a while (think Whole 30 but not so restrictive b/c I'm nursing). But yeah, no dairy/refined sugar/processed carbohydrate. Loads of "good" meat/fruit/veg/nuts/seeds. Probably some organic yogurt too, and pastured eggs. No caffeine but I've been off that for ages anyway. Thank goodness for the decaf Americano from Starbucks. I love it!
I have also given babywearing a try, and George seems to be much less fussy. I'm using the Boba wrap, and love it though perfect positioning can be challenging. We've made it through his first growth spurt. Today, he is one month old! We are so proud of our sweet one. He gives us so much joy.

Other things ...

OMG ... LAUNDRY. laundry, laundry, laundry. We have just started using our cloth diapers though and love them. Two words. Dreft. Oxyclean. Magic. Don't want to think about the water bill though!

I am in the process of interviewing for a new school position in the fall. I'm hoping to find a really, really good one this time ....

John seems to be first in line for an early childhood position at the Smithsonian!

I am looking forward very much to the first week of May. I'm taking George on his first (one hour) road trip to the Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival Saturday, then our local farmer's market starts up on Sunday!

If only there was more time for knitting .... I still have his baby blanket half finished. Welcome to motherhood, right? I must say I'm quickly mastering the art of using one hand for everything.

Hope spring has sprung where you are. Weather has been beautiful here and we've been getting out for lots of walks. We also walked around D.C. yesterday and took some pictures amongst all the cherry trees. Hope to post those soon.

love and light,

Karen xo

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Boy is Born

He's here! Healthy Baby George Andrew Fuller.

12 days early. ... born on March 16. Luck of the Irish!

6lbs, 11 oz. 19 inches

14 hours of labor (no epidural, go me!!), 5 hours of pushing.

Gorgeous tiny ball of love.

We are honeymooning at home getting to know him better.

Mama is having lots of fun reading novels and knitting, too ;-) More to come as time and energy allow.


Karen xx

Georgie and Daddy (my dad made that quilted throw)

George's first few minutes of life.
Hanging with Grandpa on his topponcino

Sunday, March 1, 2015

as we near the end

part of baby's Montessori-style nursery

Lately, there's been so much going on behind the scenes of this oft-neglected blog. Must be the season, a lot of bloggers are hibernating lately. I totally understand. Winter's been rough this year -- where we are, skimpy on the snow, high on the bitter cold end of the spectrum. Kicked off March with an ice storm today. Ugh.

In the last weeks, there has been lots of ....

snuggling in bed doing nothing (mix of winter blahs/third trimester tiredness which ebbs and flows)

drinking hot tea -- mostly peppermint and ginger, but lately cinnamon/vanilla (supposed to be good for healthy skin, see below)

battling two relatively short-lived but nasty colds thanks to my suppressed immune system and job with preschoolers, mainly with honey, lemon, elderberry, a cheap humidifier, and saline nose drops.

dealing with terrible dry skin rash (I blame pregnancy). pure shea butter/flaxseed oil supplements/vitamin e oil/coconut oil/creamy hemp and neem body wash have all helped, but the rash is still there and not in pretty places :-(

getting project after project after project started and finished. FINALLY the list appears to be waning...

preparing for five months of bliss with my little one at home :-) :-) :-) (I know it won't all be bliss..!! but really, what a blessing to have this time)

eagerly casting on too much knitting, and then neglecting all of it far too much

worrying worrying worrying .. .but figuring it all out somehow.

getting out of a very stressful situation and looking forward to a happier future ... more on this to come

reading books about parenting, breastfeeding, etc.

enjoying turning the pages of all three of my home calendars to new pages -- one from phoebe wall, one from the national gallery of degas paintings, one from a local garden center. I get so much pleasure in turning the pages over to a new month

baking, mainly endless loaves of either banana or zucchini bread with various add-ins

eating tons and tons of fresh fruit (hormones??) I can't get enough fruit

trying to swim at least twice a week

getting layers cut into my shorter hair at the hairdressing school ($13!!), and keeping the gray out

looking forward to eating a paleo-ish diet come spring and summer with the rebirth of farmer's markets in this area, and losing the 35 lbs. I gained from baby

slowing down, making time very recently for nightly relaxation time, either by just going to sleep, listening to "yoga" music, or working my way through the same novel I've been reading for a year

feeling uninspired by making new things in the kitchen and falling back on wholesome, hearty old favorites like vegetable-stuffed potatoes, veggie stirfrys with rice, homemade pizza, cobb salads.

preparing some freezer meals for the first couple weeks after baby is born, but trying not to go too overboard

just a couple more weeks to go, we can do this. hello, spring!! you are just around the corner. xo

Friday, January 2, 2015

On impending Mamahood

i have been LOVING the maple nut butter granola from Feeding the Whole Family by Cynthia Lair, which I finally got for Christmas so I wouldn't have to keep hoarding the library copy.
we had a lot of children at our doorstep on Halloween!
our fur baby, cuddly as ever.
part of a shawl I knit my grandma for Christmas. If you are a knitter it's called Scalloped Shawl by Breeann Miller and can be found on Ravelry.
homemade cinnamon buns ... heavenly heavenly!

My oh my --

I never intended to go so many months without blogging! Life just has been completely full -- with work stuff, pregnancy stuff, etc. And here I am ... right on the first day of my third trimester. Just around 12 more weeks to go until we meet our son! He has been wriggling around in there for three weeks already (that I can feel).

We were very blessed to receive money for baby items at Christmastime. So, I've spent the last two days spending it which is scary but of course what it's for. We have found some incredible used items and hope to find more before our trip to Ikea at month's end for a few "big" items. One of my best friends has also decided to host a baby shower for me so I got to fill up a registry to Target with a lot of nice smaller items. We will soon be "sampling" a variety of cloth diapers I ordered.

I have been thinking nonstop about the kind of mama I want to be. It will not be easy being a working mama (after several months off) and it's not my ideal. But it's a necessity at this point and I'm fine with it, especially because I love the work I do with children. I am feeling this sense of urgency and already just two days into the new year I am getting. it. done. the end. I want to have as much prepped as possible during January and February. There are some house projects (mainly cleaning/organizing/setting up) and some kitchen projects (umm freezer meals) and a financial getting-in-order so we are set for when I'm out of work. Holy um ... wow. But still, somehow ... it all feels doable. I'm just getting so excited to meet this little one inside me who makes my belly hard and itchy and tough to sleep around at night! :-) :-) :-)

I have also been thinking about intentions for this brand new year. I'd like to learn how to knit socks and/or cables. I would also like to get myself into a sewing studio for some lessons on the basics. I am planning to launch a little Etsy shop and so I need to prep some products for that. I am also wanting to reach out to some indie yarn dyers about their process as I'm mulling a side business in that line of work. There is very little literature on the subject at this point. I think I would really enjoy that work and if it ever became more successful ... well, I'm always thinking of ways to work more self-sufficiently and less outside the home.

There has been a lot of stress in our house due to some unexpected work-related crises, since the summer really. With those issues soon coming to a close, however, I am determined to make family the number one focus. Despite all the busy this winter entails, I want to make sure that I build in some true relaxing time into each day. I am taking Heather's Hibernate retreat which begins in 10 days and will take me gently into February. My husband got me a prenatal massage for Christmas. And, of course, I have at least four baby knitting projecs planned, with yarn to prove it :-) I plan on drinking lots of tea and sleeping as much as possible. Being good to myself and "checking out" as much, much, much as I can from "outside" stuff. There are very good things on our family's horizon but we are still exploring at this point so nothing concrete to share. I am looking forward to this mix of busy/relaxed. It's a funny feeling to be both but it's what I must do for the last three months until our son arrives.

I am hoping 2015 brings with it the opportunity to take at least two trips. One to Maine over the summer just to relax and sightsee, the other to Orlando by train to see close friends.

It was wonderful to check in at last. Hopefully I won't be gone so long this time!

Love and light,