Sunday, August 31, 2014

My favorite month

a household favorite :: vegetable-stuffed potatoes. also makes a great lunch the next day.

new car. 

SURPRISE!! 10 week belly :: just a little more rounded than usual ... 

labor day weekend wedding, delaware :: hubby (far left) and best friends

bride and groom presiding over picnic dinner. i LOVE simple, homey yard weddings!

my gorgeous hubby

photo shoot scenery, post-nuptials

Well, technically it starts tomorrow.

I haven't meant to be away from the blog so much. Time management after some major life upheavals this summer hasn't been an easy one to pin down, especially with the way I've been feeling lately, which, you should know, is because ....

I'm pregnant!!!!

Not quite Facebook-announcement ready yet, it's still first trimester (just over 10 weeks). But we saw a strong heartbeat at 8.5 weeks so we're hoping everything continues just fine :-) I have another appointment in about 2 weeks. I have been incredibly lucky and haven't had morning sickness. But I've been more exhausted than I've ever felt before, and my appetite was REALLY weird for a while (all I've been wanting are frequent tiny meals, and mostly lemonade, bagels with cream cheese, and fruit). The exhaustion means I was too drained to do much other than take long naps after work and sleep nine to ten-hour nights. Lots of TV watching online, but very little exercise, reading, or knitting. Cooking went to "breakfast for dinner" and takeout. I've felt terrible about becoming such a zombie but then again ... it's almost the second tri now and things should start returning to normal(ish!). ... the past couple days I've already been feeling a bit more like my old self.

Anyway, back to the reason for this post. September!!  Cooling weather, return to gradually heavier cooking and baking, indoor swimming, daily walks at dusk. Knitting needles clacking again. Literal and mental clutter cleared (I have a date with my closets, which might actually be in October, more on that in a minute). "Fresh start" time. I am streaming prenatal yoga and very happy with the much-reduced prices versus taking a "real life" class. For $22 I can spend a day swimming at my local rec center and buy TWO yoga classes online (which I can keep and repeat whenever I wish), versus $20 for ONE studio yoga class. Score!

I have been very recently making good use of the local library, checking out books on pregnancy/parenting/frugal living/baking/homemaking. I went hog wild and put my name on a waiting list for a plot in a nearby community garden! I managed to keep a tomato plant (barely) alive, but it didn't exactly prosper. Next year I'll try again but add basil to the pot which I've heard helps the tomatoes.

Plans for this month (and next) include a trip home to New England, several fall fairs/festivals, two fiber festivals, and a fancy dinner and symphony date for our first wedding anniversary. Yes, I also bought a new car ... the old one finally died after 13 years of loving service. I love my 2014 Nissan Sentra :-)


Turn craft room into a dual craft room/guest room.
Clean and organize all closets in house
Paint living room walls.
Paint and prepare the nursery (Montessori crib!)
Keep eyes open for clearance/thrifted treasures to make living room homey

Tomorrow I'm baking some banana bread to welcome September. How I adore you!

For now, I'm off to enjoy a late-summer thunderstorm that's brewing outside and a dusk walk.


Sunday, August 3, 2014

the confusion

The pictures above are from my recent trip to Fredericksburg. The last photo is a summer favorite -- orzo summer pasta salad (minus pasta). 

I swear, I'm not intentionally going so long without posting.

I have so many thoughts today though, so perhaps that will make up for the void. It's been a rough weekend, between my car of 13 years finally going into transmission fail and worries about money along with other anxieties I don't yet feel comfortable sharing publicly (we are fine though!). Luckily Friday was our last day for the summer with children so I'm just not going in tomorrow because I need a day to catch up on home life and to destress.

My brain has been feeling a bit convoluted lately. I think it started in part when my parents came in last week and spent a few days here. It was wonderful time with them, but it threw off my routine/menu plan and even though I was decently flexible with shifting things around I realize how good I've gotten at my illusion of control (same with losing a car, which will likely be the case for the next few weeks as I research getting a "new" one) and how dependent I've become on it.

Sometimes (more often than not) I still very much love what I'm doing. But other times, I realize how hard it is to do what I do, both in terms of being able to practice the Montessori method purely in the context of a school, and in terms of making what I'm truly worth and being able to live without feeling so financially fragile. Sigh. Seems to be the sticking point for our entire generation. ALL of my friends and DH's friends are struggling to make ends meet let alone afford things like a vacation (we're talking a simple two nights away in a cabin somewhere!! forget it!!) or paint/curtains for our new living room. Sometimes I want to get back into writing, not journalism but freelance. Sometimes I just want a decent "grind" job like I had at trader joe's or at a coffee shop/yarn shop (no money there either though and other issues like random hours/working holidays). Sometimes I want to just go be a hippie homesteader (tell that to DH...!). I'm feeling just a bit disillusioned with this extremely short life. I want to do what i WANT to do. selfish? yes. truthful? yes.

I won't go on into a full-on complain fest, poor DH got the brunt of it earlier and was so very kind and understanding. I even skipped the politics of it all for his sake.

I just wish I had more time. For crafting. For gardening/canning. For reading. For overall self/family enrichment. I fill all of it as it is with full-time work and being a proud part-time "homemaker." There just always seems to be less time than what I have ideas for :-)

This area has been a particularly difficult one to adjust to. It's not a demographic we are at all familiar with -- I'll leave it there. I can usually find ways to be happy anywhere but neither of us is having a good go of it. I think once I get the used car situation nailed down I would like to be more proactive about making a master list of frugal things to experience. Saving up the stores again. And making some connections. But we're also "keeping the options open" as much as it pains us to do so (we are SO ready to settle).

So many blogs present life as this endless panoramic of wildflowers, nearly fully-knitted items made with pricey yarn, baskets overflowing with large garden goodness, and serene life with young children. I love all of that but they're lacking honesty. So I turn to my own blog for that, obviously :-) This is how I keep me accountable to ME.

And now if you'll excuse me I'm totally feeling a Sunday nap coming on ..... I do hope to see you all again much sooner than the last time I posted!!