Monday, November 14, 2011

reflective thoughts.

 I'd like to become an earlier riser again. even if i get less sleep while adjusting. i work a lot of late nights (till midnight) now, so it's not the easiest to go straight to bed and then get up early. however, i do feel that even though it's been nice to sleep until 11 and go to work at 3 i'm not getting anything productive done. some of this is normal getting-used-to-the-seasons-changing routine. i have cover letters to write that I've really been dragging my feet on. I'm really resistant to leaving Louisville. There's really a lot going through my brain right now, potential decisions that don't feel ready to be decided. Stick it out here and try to run the home-based Montessori business? Leave and get good experience at an AMI school? Get Waldorf teacher training? Stay and work a part-time freelance teaching gig at the Waldorf school next year and run my own Montessori business?

I'm still feeling unhappy about my computer time. I spent too many hours with the screen and not enough time with friends. I've been really reflecting on friendships lately, the fake facebook ones (not including those dear who are far, of course) and the real ... offline ones. also pondering the quantity and quality. how to sustain and grow friendships in the digital age. it feels like new territory. but what if we just shut off our laptops and really try to engage? join an interesting group or something. I need computer-free days. Hmm.

I am also concerned about my lack of knitting and learning to sew. These are things I dream about constantly. Yeah, dream about. I never want to DO them. Where do you crafters get your inspiration? Do you have to carve out time, or does the magic simply happen?

I guess I'm just going through a bit of a ... limbo phase. Normal for this time of year. This, too, shall pass. I'm reflecting on where I've been, where I am, and where I'd like to go.

At least I know I'll be doing plenty of baking along the way. This week and next, between the two, I'd like to get to banana bread and pumpkin-chocolate chip bread. I enjoy sharing the treats at work. Baking is truly a meditation for me.

I also need to take to the yoga mat. In class form. Preferably soon. My two-month hiatus from yoga is not good.

Christmas will be different this year. Here, away from home. None of the usual gift-buying (except a few things for immediate family) will happen. I am more determined than ever to pay off my Capital One card. Student loan payments are coming due.

I am happy with reading more in the living room now that I've reorganized and made it cozy. Last night, I fnished The Help and I just read the first chapter of The Alphabet versus The Goddess, about how literacy introduced patriarchy. I think I'll love it. I'd like to also be reading the Little House on the Prairie series through the holidays. I never finished the Anne of Green Gables series, either.

That's all for me. I'll be celebrating my birthday on Saturday with a new tattoo and a little wine-snack soiree at my house. This week I plan on buying tights, leggings, knitting needles, and a vintage coffee table.

I love you, my muses. Happy week to you.

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