16 June :: been, being on vacation

i'm currently having a much-needed respite in the crunchy-granola mountains of North Carolina. After two days of heavy downtown exploration here in Asheville, I'm ready to put on the yoga leggings and hike at a nearby state park, maybe swim, too.

frugality was heavily on my mind today after some overspending and subsequent anxiety in the early portion of the weekend. much needed was some knitting under shady trees at a free botanical garden, and a couple hours of porch sitting on the farm with a new-to-me Dickens novel which I am actually reading and not just fantasizing about starting.

i allowed myself an hour after breakfast this morning to wallow in things and really feel the pain (in the form of a stomachache and nausea, unfortunately, though by afternoon it was a lurking shadow in my inner self, trying to motivate my determination). i've been reading that spendthrifts (hello) have two brain parts that work very differently from those who are naturally "tightwads" and "frugal". interesting but not an excuse.

and then i got this teabag. don't you love Yogi? "when the mind is backed by will, miracles happen." i'm keeping this one with me.

i also even journaled some thoughts today over a yummy portabello sandwich for lunch (the food here is all that you want a crunchy place to be, hence those locally-raised beef sliders above), and i never do that. i feel on the precipice of some great changes. well, yes -- in the next year we are moving, getting married, coming really really close to (hopefully!) starting a family. financially, it's really time to get my damn hat on straight.

it also occurred to me that i truly believe my body runs much lighter and less weighted down/bloaty feeling for HOURS ... when i cut the gluten out. i know this is a "thing" these days. but i listen closely and i'm telling you i don't feel that way after ice cream and cheese (not that i attempt to eat tons of that stuff either). but i do feel that way after a muffin (well not just a muffin, but that's the bread part) for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, and two slices of pizza for dinner. i was doing okay for a while there and then i slipped back. i actually love ordering things without the bread. so. i'll focus the next week on that.

also, i've been taking one or two fish oil supplements a day. i'm noticing minor physical pains (hello early thirties) that tend to be on the chronic side disappear.

by the way, since the package has been received, here is what i've worked super hard on for many too-late school nights over the last few months. the sewing was a bungle but i'll try to stay positive ..... the teddy is from my babyhood. he's very special to me and makes a good model, don't you think?

don't let that pretty looking mattress stitch fool you ... it's a bear and takes a lot of neck pain and patience.

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11 June :: real food

In this house, we eat real food ::

locally baked kalamata olive bread (a rare treat for this girl these days, bread) with olive oil and salt, along with locally grown organic strawberries. So sad that strawberry season's already over here!

prepping for raw zucchini salad with peanut-coconut milk sauce

added a bit of tofu for extra protein

swiss chard from the farmer's market

this tasted AMAZING. another rare treat, organic tricolored pasta

mashed skin-on potatoes with cauliflower and garlic

prepping for potato pancakes and sauteed bok choy (yellow bowl)

look what the pastured eggs do to the color. so pretty!

breakfast, with the last of the strawberries

i also put this in an Ezekiel sprouted grain wrap. the only "processed" thing in here is trader joe's gluten free quinoa chips for some crunch.the purple are beets!

11 p.m. cookie baking. use half coconut oil, half grassfed, pastured butter. choco chips are vegan

egg salad made with vegenaise over pastured bacon over the rare 1/2 everything bagel from trader joe's

every morning this happens

just strawberries, vanilla coconut milk, and whey protein

sorry for the poor lighting, the weather's been cranky here of late. it feels so good to eat real, simple food cooked from scratch. just wanted to share.

1 June :: finally

Finally, a little space to update things ::

I really feel that the older I get, the less I can handle feeling overwhelmed with all that an American life entails. But then I remember that I live in the middle of nowhere and I drive a lot every day and we've had a lot of stressful stuff happen at work that's fairly out of my control and that it won't be like this forever, even next year. But anyway, there are four days left of the school year and so about that I am happy. In two weeks, I hit the road for my two-week road trip west and back. I am going to relax and have a good time. 

I am struggling to start putting some money aside again after work travel and car issues derailed things. It's hard to do because I'm trying to replenish depleted wedding funds. But not impossible. Nothing you really want is ever impossible. Actually, I'm already formulating a few radical plans for non-spending for the upcoming year ("years" to me tend to start around August, must be a schoolteacher thing) so I can help build us a little nest to grow on. But I'm sure we'll have some wedding gifts to work with, as well. 

I'm in the middle of some good things, an online vegan workshop to re-inspire me for the summer months (although mostly in the summer I eat salads and sandwiches and fruit). Knitting. I found a good podcast so I spend most weeknights giving an hour or two to my craft. Also, have been exercising near-daily for at least 30 minutes -- currently working up to a 32-lap mile in the pool at the Y. Swimming, to me, has always been so meditative. Just give your stress to the water. It really works. It literally melts off you. At least that's how I envision it. About 10-12 laps in, that's when the magic begins to happen. I have never been so invested in a healthy body before. I am starting to see the changes in my body and I just feel better overall. 

This morning, I'm just drinking French Press coffee and I will probably bake Molly Wizenberg's custard-filled cornbread. I have some grassfed heavy cream that will be perfect for the recipe. I also would like to do my weekly/biweekly fridge cleanout and re-organize. I like to keep things simple and avoid clutter. I'm still really struggling with finding the energy for food but then I really don't give myself enough credit. I just long for perfection too much, like six days in a row of cooking for having a lovely simple plate of food. I just have to remember that perfection is impossible, especially for busy people balancing other important things on their plate. I just don't have the lives these other bloggers who inspire me do. I have to remember not to compare but to do what I can where I am. Really, what I need when I think of all the great veggies languishing in my fridge and counter is an intent to make something of them, regardless of feeling like it's "complete" or "blog worthy". In the end, it just has to be nourishing fuel for a strong body and spirit. I have to see it as taking a moment to give something back to myself. To complete the circle. 

I hope you all have an enjoyable weekend. You do inspire me so. 

Love and light, 

Karen