I really feel that the older I get, the less I can handle feeling overwhelmed with all that an American life entails. But then I remember that I live in the middle of nowhere and I drive a lot every day and we've had a lot of stressful stuff happen at work that's fairly out of my control and that it won't be like this forever, even next year. But anyway, there are four days left of the school year and so about that I am happy. In two weeks, I hit the road for my two-week road trip west and back. I am going to relax and have a good time.
I am struggling to start putting some money aside again after work travel and car issues derailed things. It's hard to do because I'm trying to replenish depleted wedding funds. But not impossible. Nothing you really want is ever impossible. Actually, I'm already formulating a few radical plans for non-spending for the upcoming year ("years" to me tend to start around August, must be a schoolteacher thing) so I can help build us a little nest to grow on. But I'm sure we'll have some wedding gifts to work with, as well.
I'm in the middle of some good things, an online vegan workshop to re-inspire me for the summer months (although mostly in the summer I eat salads and sandwiches and fruit). Knitting. I found a good podcast so I spend most weeknights giving an hour or two to my craft. Also, have been exercising near-daily for at least 30 minutes -- currently working up to a 32-lap mile in the pool at the Y. Swimming, to me, has always been so meditative. Just give your stress to the water. It really works. It literally melts off you. At least that's how I envision it. About 10-12 laps in, that's when the magic begins to happen. I have never been so invested in a healthy body before. I am starting to see the changes in my body and I just feel better overall.
This morning, I'm just drinking French Press coffee and I will probably bake Molly Wizenberg's custard-filled cornbread. I have some grassfed heavy cream that will be perfect for the recipe. I also would like to do my weekly/biweekly fridge cleanout and re-organize. I like to keep things simple and avoid clutter. I'm still really struggling with finding the energy for food but then I really don't give myself enough credit. I just long for perfection too much, like six days in a row of cooking for having a lovely simple plate of food. I just have to remember that perfection is impossible, especially for busy people balancing other important things on their plate. I just don't have the lives these other bloggers who inspire me do. I have to remember not to compare but to do what I can where I am. Really, what I need when I think of all the great veggies languishing in my fridge and counter is an intent to make something of them, regardless of feeling like it's "complete" or "blog worthy". In the end, it just has to be nourishing fuel for a strong body and spirit. I have to see it as taking a moment to give something back to myself. To complete the circle.
I hope you all have an enjoyable weekend. You do inspire me so.
Love and light,