It was so good in other ways, too. So much ... inner. Listening and heeding what my "self" was saying to me.
We've made some real progress with realistically planning our wedding now that we've removed the stars (and dollar signs) from our eyes. It will definitely be uniquely "us." No one tells you how weddings seem to not come together in a real, tangible way until nearly the 11th hour and that it's OKAY. To just have faith. I will share here as the time gets closer. It's really so exciting.
I've decided to look things in the eye and just go after what I want. I'm talking about living frugally, but it turns out I didn't mean just finances. I meant living a lifestyle surrounded with things and experiences that are meaningful, and that includes a LOT of really. slowing down. Escaping the modern day "needs" and trappings to be constantly plugged-in and connected -- case in point, lady on the beach the other day tracking a thunderstorm on her IPhone thing when you could clearly see the dark (and very beautiful, actually) clouds rolling in across the water. I have decided to gradually and completely eliminate my Facebook page. I'm more detailed on the blog, and I stay more connected to others living similar lifestyles via my blog. I noticed that when I cleared up my Facebook feed, it just kept coming back to haunt me. Ads, "suggestions", mindless, needless time suckers all. Also, I'm not a blog every day or even read blog every day type. I like to "store them up" and read in depth, at leisure, when I have a good couple of rainy or slow hours free. It's kind of like curling up with a good book! And so inspiring in a way Facebook has just never been for me. So, goodbye. I'm simplifying.
It also means not constantly watching the clock as I run through my day. Of course, easier in summer. It means not planning my agenda more than very loosely so that others' ideas can enrich me too. Or so I can just BE without having to fill it all up all the time. I think we forget how to just BE. we're so busy like hamsters on a wheel, always trying to entertain ourselves. But really, you'd be amazed how much longer a day feels when you eliminate the clock, the constant cell phone checking (although I've never done that, I can't even find my phone half the time and it's always always on silent), the hours online, the television. I watch about an hour or two in a week, always with John, and it's a targeted show we've decided to watch, not channel surfing. In our new house, I have convinced him to keep the TV out of the common living space downstairs.
I've also taken, a habit I started while away (and which often includes John now! yay!) -- a four to five mile walk outdoors each day, usually in the morning. Takes an hour to an hour and a half. I don't need to go into the benefits, but I'm experiencing all of them. How wonderful. No headphones, just quiet reflection or dreaming or conversation. I'm going to resume swimming laps again this weekend, too. The weights are quiet for now, but I'm sure they'll be picked up again when the time feels right.
I've let go of cooking for the summer. I mean, little things like bean salads and hummus and tacos and smoothies, yeah that's where we are. Cheaper grocery bill while still eating healthy.
I hope that some of this might help you, too, to reflect on how you REALLY want to live your life. I am in the middle of breaking some of these things we've been conditioned to think we need to have heavy doses of (shopping, screens) and it's not easy. But we only get one shot at this.
Here's to wishing you peace in the every day. I'm off to knit and listen to a Splendid Table episode, and music.
xo,
K.
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