Sunday, July 7, 2013

7 July :: actually being bored

all the pictures here are from my recent trip to kentucky.
I haven't felt that since summers when I was a kid. It was a tough moment to have sneaking up on me yesterday. A short walk helped me through that strange restless energy.

And this morning, eating a bowl of fresh fruit and reading my $5 book on simplicity, I was challenged to see it in a positive light. Change, at first, feels like upheaval. Your "self" resists it. I'm pretty sure that's what was going on.

Today, I spent three hours playing with yarn. And before that, I baked a breakfast bread from scratch. I have absolutely no agenda for the rest of the day other than making veggie burgers later.

It's odd, this first-ever work-free summer. I'm trying to soak in the moments and realize that this ultimate slowdown is really healthy for me, especially as I strive to be gentle on myself in making more radical changes (basically sticking to a strict budget, and resisting the ever-present urge to acquire just one more yarn skein, book, shirt, cute whatsit on Etsy, or go out to eat "just this once, since it's been a while"). The words low-cost (or free!), high experience keep returning to me. We really have so much to do to keep us occupied.

One of my biggest challenges, spending less time in front of a screen. Has been working like a charm but it's like any addict's high wearing off. There's a bit of obsessive thinking about "what's going on online" and itching to get the laptop on my .. .well, lap. :-(  So, I indulge, but set strict time limits for myself for that activity.

The only thing we might do this week is drive to a local bookstore (i have a gift card) and have lunch, rather than dinner, at a thai place we like (lunch being less expensive). I've been pretty well satiated with YMCA swimming, long walks, spending an hour or two on the beach here and there, reading, knitting, and keeping semi-active in the kitchen.

I have a feeling that by the time September rolls around, I'll be glad there was a long stretch of doing nothing. Hope you haven't forgotten those days of your childhood, either. They are still accessible. We kind of just have to remove a lot of what the technology revolution has done to us and allow ourselves to have long stretches of attention again, and an ability to feel "bored" once in a while. I like to see it was a doorway to change and growth and happiness.

blessings and light,


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