Wednesday, March 9, 2011
bernheim forest in kentucky - iron ore trail, this is the bridge on the "canopy tree walk".
the path ahead of me is not changing, yet it's becoming clearer.
loads of transformation here.
i am, in a matter of days, becoming the official money manager of a new unofficial "family unit" (no it's not what you're thinking tee hee!) .... yes, my boyfriend (i will tell the long story sometime) is moving from massachusetts to kentucky!
i bet he thinks i'm a little crazy, but i'm looking forward to being a self-coined frugalista and making a game out of how much i can save, while visions of waldorf toys and afternoons spent playing and baking with my homeschooled children dance in my head.
you see, this guy is the one. he always has been over the years i've known him, it's just taken this long for it all to come together. but it's all happened this way for the right reasons, i'm sure of it.
did you hear me? THE ONE!!!
i've gotten away from my individual routine, the one i've so carefully and mindfully crafted for myself over the four years i've been in kentucky. slowly, i'm letting go of planning and cooking all the meals, doing all the dishes, having everything in my environment just. so.
he changes easily. me, not so easily. i need to process. as a typical type B, change is very overwhelming to me, even good change. i need to pace myself, let things go back to the universe in increments. i have already given up Wednesdays in the kitchen. luckily, he's a good cook. and he's already off to a good start with the vegan meals. (he's attempting to make it a year as a vegetarian)
thank goodness that becoming a regular yoga practitioner has helped so much with my own personal transformation to a more calmer, flowing individual. it's going to help me navigate this most important of relationships.
it's still a bit much to realize that if i'm still blogging on here in two years or so, i could well be blogging about my "dear husband!"
i'm actually hoping this blog will begin to take on more form, as i feel i've lost that initial focus i had on living simply. see, i learned what i needed to know to start on this downshifting path, then i took off with it. i stumbled, i fell, i picked myself up again. now, a lot of the things i used to dislike or see as chores (cooking, washing dishes, sweeping, daily walks, etc.), are second nature.
over recent months, i've felt a bit of a disconnect between the life i've always dreamed of living and the life i live now, so i was doing more reading of the blogs from women who are already "there." i do believe in blooming where you are, but i do believe that i'm going "there," too and it was frustrating to just sift to find things to write about my solitary life. now that this last puzzle piece is fitting in and there are marriage and children (i hope, i hope!) coloring the next chapters in, i believe working as a team to accomplish those beautiful goals will provide me with stronger grit to get there (while, of course, enjoying the benefits of partnership along the way: cheerier weekend breakfast feasts, happier hikes, you know....
i thank all of YOU bloggy friends for continually feeding my dreamy soul and reminding, always reminding - gently and humbly - me that i, too, can fulfill the deepest of my heart-soul's desires, and for living mindfully enough to reach the horizon of those new shores, and sail away.
that's my poetic thought for the night, anyhow. though i walk this newly-cleared path cautiously, i do so with gratefulness to the universe for the gift of opportunity, and with a mind to let go into every moment of present joy i am given along the way. it's not always going to be easy to let the little things go, but when you have a strong life partner by your side, the allowances are your open doors.
letting the fresh air, and possibility, and joy, and the deepest love i've ever felt, in.
thank you all for being here for this momentous time.
love and light,