Things are feeling a bit difficult right now.
In the middle of a two week parent-teacher conferences stretch, and there are always those who think our job is just SO easy. um, it's not. i pulled a bunch of 12-hour days last week.
Finding out that my car is at the stage of major repairs. As in, almost the number one might put down on a new one. So, I went to see if I qualified for a loan but turns out at 33 I still need mommy and daddy to co-sign. UM. Also, who can afford a $375/mo payment on top of living expenses and school loans and a credit card consolidation loan? For four years? That did not go well. I still haven't decided what to do (besides having a massive nervous breakdown for a good hour last night, leaving my eyes feeling sting-y and puffy today), I guess I'll wait until Wednesday when I have to bring it in for a more specific diagnosis. It needed two new front tires immediately. Then I had the tire salesman passively-aggressively berate ME for not having kept up with the maintenance over the years (not true). It was a long, hard Saturday after a long, hard week. Then I got to fill out tax returns for four states (don't ever do that much moving in one year again, self). What a mess. I did get a refund, bet you can guess where that's going. :-(
We had a lovely breakfast this morning at a new place (to us) in town, but John has been struggling with job issues of his own so Sundays have had a pall over them now for several months.
On the bright side, the sun is shining and it's actually a bit warm-ish so a walk by the bay might be in order. So might trying out my new slow-cooker and baking banana-chocolate chip bread. So might knitting. The rest can work itself out as the week drags on. The next one is vacation, though with all the car expenses it might be a true STAY-cation. Sigh.
We'll be okay, I just again was reminded how very hard it is for this generation (I'm 33) to be adult. Credit score, to me, is like an SAT test. Some people are good at test-taking, but it's never a measure of someone's true intelligence. Anyway I won't go into my rant again, I got that out yesterday. Just ... home, car, baby, dog even -- i kept saying over and over, "I just can't do it."
The good news is my frugal mindset is back. I can't seem to figure out the trick to sticking with it. I guess we just keep getting up, dusting off our bottoms, and getting back to it. I would like to see my savings account stay in the black. That is all.
I also just checked my free annual credit report, and got some good (for me). I am JUST on the verge of entering the "fair" category again. Just a few more points to go.
Anyway, about all I have to say for now. Just going to try to keep living with intention, enjoying the moments as much as possible, and trying, trying, to make good habits stick. and perspective, perspective. it could AL-ways be worse. always.