Sunday, May 12, 2013

12 may :: sans image, just my thoughts right now.

wanting more ::

easy healthy eats
cuddle time with my two loves (one human, one canine)
time. for me.
crunchy (around us)

wanting less ::

pantry and fridge items
screen time (although I do well, i could do lots better)

there is overall a feeling of burnout. near-relief. desire to be "in the moment" despite the apparent untidiness of things/emotion. i feel in a messy artist creative phase. that's okay even if all i'm doing is dreaming, and knitting. i'm coming into my summer self? maybe. despite planning a wedding in our lazy-ish way. wanting always to be my best me, a better me, even an old version of me, of sorts. i love these (intro?)spective, let's just call them 'spective, times. stream of consciousness and glimpse into that ever-shimmering underworld we so rarely seem able to access. a quick peek into the things that keep it all humming that words just can't be put to, and the beauty so much it hurts because you know it's always there but your experience with it at. that. very. moment. is so fleeting. things are good but things are hard but then they're just okay and that's okay too. i like the middle place. i'll always take the tree-lined path. ours is certain but not imminent. we alternate between dreams and practicality, it's a bit like trying to ice skate and let go of the outer rail. we land where we must, and have a go. right now, it's right here, i'm trying to live in the little cozy nucleus of my round perfect self. if i can't stay, i'll come back someday soon. it just takes intention, even if it's in the heart and (as yet) unwritten. thank goodness for this holistic perspective i was blessed with. still so close to the spirit world, with my bare feet lightly treading this one. dare we say, dancing?

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